The Glasgow diet

The Scots are known to have a prodigiously poor diet. We've all heard stories of the deep-fried Mars bars, the insane consumption of Irn Bru, and the life expectancy rates in some districts of Glasgow that rival much of the third world.

But until last week, I'd never really studied the issue at first hand. My first taste of what was to come was on the train north. A Scottish family got on at York. Before they'd got set, out came the family packs of M&Ms, wine gums and the variety selection known as Sports Mix. These treats were washed down with bottles of Coke, and Cherry Coke for mum.

Also on the train was a little boy with his grandma. During the train ride to Glasgow, nana plied the poor kid with three packs of French Fries and two cans of Coke. Just when the kid was begging for mercy, a friendly woman offered him a pack of Chewits, as she had 10 packs and couldn't eat them all.

When I rolled into Glasgow I noticed that the promotion with the local paper, the Evening Times, was a free sausage roll with each newspaper. As with all good local newpspapers, the Evening Times surely knows its audience.

Surveying Glasgow city centre, what becomes apparent is that the extremely heavy presence of Greggs. I know that Greggs is pretty prominent on just about every high street, but in Glasgow the situation has got totally out of hand. There must be six or more in the city centre, all doing a very brisk trade. When you add those on to the MacD's, the Burger Kings, the kebab shops and the restaurants offering quaint-sounding fish suppers, you've got a compelling recipe for heart disease.

This puts evident pressure on the health-conscious Glaswegians. I stopped in an Aulds bakers in the St Enoch's shopping centre. There was a counter full of pasties, sausage rolls and cakes. The only healthy option was a minestrone soup. The mum in front of me, who may or may not have read a scary healthy story in a mid-market tabloid that morning, ordered the soup...and then, with a pained expression on her face, a sausage roll as well. (For the record, I got a cheese roll, served with a side order of crisps.)

As a conscientious reporter, I was convinced healthy food was available - I just wasn't looking hard enough for it. And after a half-day trailing around the city centre, I found, deep in the faintly bourgeois Buchanan shopping centre, a cafe offering,

wait for it

wait for it

salad!!!

And I can say, having witnessed the businessmen and women enjoying their lunch, that salad - like jazz music and Proust - remains the preserve of intellectuals in Glasgow. Yes, it has its advocates, but don't expect it to catch on any time soon.